American Flag Swimsuits & Patriotic Bathing Suits
This collection of American flag bathing suits contains all the smashing good looks and sexual tension you’ve come to expect out of Shinesty products, but with added amphibious attributes. That’s right, you stick with papa Shinesty and we’ll have you looking like a hot dog on the Fourth of July in no time. We got American flag swim trunks, American flag bikinis, American flag one piece swimsuits, hell we even got American flag American flags. Now, they say money can’t buy happiness but have you ever seen someone in American Flag swimwear not smiling? Didn’t think so. Welcome to the party amigo.
Damnit. The Fourth of July is closer than I thought and I need an American Flag Swimsuit."
Well, you're in luck. Here at Shinesty, our line of American themed swimsuits piss off the fun police of the world.
Everyone needs a red, white and blue bathing suit. What are you going to do for a Fourth of July party, show up in a t-shirt and jeans? No. And if you did that, you'd be the antithesis of a good time - like a lifeguard. You can't have a fun time being a lifeguard. They want you to act out of line so they can impose the one iota of control they have. And nothing irritates them more than someone in a USA bikini and American swim trunks enjoying their freedom by engaging in horseplay around the pool.
Beach & Pool Fashion: American flag swimwear that will make your grandmother blush.
The best beach and pool fashion is not putting zinc oxide on your nose wearing one of those red swimsuits, ironically paying tribute to the lifeguards. That's just as bad as the guy who wears a shirt that says "security" at a concert. He's not cool, he's a narc. Following this logic, an American flag bikini or USA swim trunks are essentially the inverse of being a narc. And this, ladies and gentlemen, is what summer beach parties are all about: upsetting the fun suckers of the world. Whether it's at the beach, fun park, or above ground pool at the end of the cul-de-sac, these patriotic bathing suits will hop in the water immediately after you eat.
This summer, don't be the pool tool, make the pool cool.