Men's American Flag Apparel for the Fourth of July
Listen up, Americans. It’s time to whip your civilian asses into tip top party condition. It’s almost Independence day, and you’re on a mission to exercise your constitutional right of the pursuit of whatever gets your broad stripe and bright stars rising to full mast. Your orders are to seek and rescue patriotic clothing for men - we’re talking American flag pants, shorts, party suits, shirts, blazers, all kinds of outrageous men’s USA apparel - and use it as a tool to gain temporary security clearance for consensual intercourse with a fellow American of your choice.
American Made Men's Outfits for Men in America
Your aggressive willingness to expose yourself as an American flag-wearing, pro-exhibitionist patriot is imperative to your objective, citizen. Wearing regular, boring men’s apparel instead of a red white and blue 4th of July outfit could mean the difference between a failed mission and the coveted opportunity to risk 18 years of child support payments. You’re sure as shit no failure or else you wouldn’t be reading this, so tell me friend, are you ready to take the assignment?
On a Scale of One to America, How Fuggin' Great Will You Look in This American Flag Outfit?
Now that you’re committed to the mission, let’s recap: securing American flag clothing for men is the critical first step to going on a midnight ride like your fellow patriot, Paul Revere. He put his patriotic pants on one leg at a time like the rest of us, but his dedication to patriotic clothing for men made damn sure the British weren’t the only ones coming.