Wanna look V cute? Well, we're not really in the business of using those words, but if you want to strap an American flag across your chest while you're getting plastered at the cookout, we've got you covered. These women's American flag tops, skirts, yoga pants, hats, accessories, 4th of July outfits for women are perfect for boat bouncing on Lake Havasu, passing out behind the porta-potty and country jam or slamming one too many vod-crans at a Patriot's happy hour. Take it or leave it, that’s what the women's American Flag outfit is all about.
Breaking out the American flag clothes for women is kind of like giving a mouse a cookie. If you give a girl a comfy American flag dress, she’s probably going to want a festive red white and blue drink to go with it. Once she tastes the drink, she’s going to be ready for you to take her to a fourth of July BBQ where she will undoubtedly drip sauce on her patriotic clothes and have to change into another one of her 4th of July outfits for women before you to take her to a big fireworks show. All the huge fireworks exploding and dripping out of the sky will make her feel all passionate...about freedom. She’ll remember why she wore the outfit to begin with, so she’ll probably ask you to take her home and call her Mrs. President so she can exercise a little executive privilege. All that exercising can make a girl see stars, which will probably remind her of her favorite American flag party dress...
Women's American Flag Apparel for the Fourth of July
If circular children’s stories turned into kinky adult narratives don’t help you understand the sexual power that lies within patriotic clothes for women, look at it this way: women’s American flag apparel like a t-shirt, top, or dress takes you to a fashionably patriotic level of sexiness that falls somewhere between Monica Lewinski’s beret and Hilary Clinton’s American flag lapel pin.
Emails suck. Ours don't.
Whoops! Looks like our matrix gnomes don't like your email
If you feel you've received this message in error contact us here.
By clicking that button, you’ll: 1) confirm you're a genius
and 2) start getting our award-winning product updates.