Treat Yourself To a Different Swimsuit For Every Summer Holiday
The very thought of facing the legendary horrors of the women’s swimsuit department….the unforgiving fluorescent lights and glorified carnival mirrors, publicly evaluating our shocked winter skin stuffed into a women’s bathing suit while pretending not to hear the couple having sex in the next stall...it’s enough to make a girl avoid swimming altogether. But this is the 21st century, and you’re a 21st century fox who’s cunning enough to avoid all that unpleasant shit and use the interwebs to turn buying swimsuits for women into your new guilty pleasure. Skip the anxiety-inducing dressing room experience and open your calendar, because this summer is full of opportunities to get wet and wild - but not necessarily in that order. From Memorial Day to Labor Day, there are 15 summer weekends and at least 11 summer holidays to spend avoiding sobriety at the pool or the beach. Every last one of them is a perfect excuse to show off a new swimsuit. So, whether you’re shopping for Independence Day, Best Friend’s Day, National Piña Colada Day (July 10 - you’re welcome), or your hyperactive nephew’s pool party, you deserve to TREAT YO’ SELF to as many women’s bathing suits as you want.
Bathing Suits for Women Ready for the Right Kind of Summer Fun
Where to start, you ask? Luckily, you’ve stumbled upon a bona fide online treasure trove of swimsuits for women. And even though you prefer no strings attached, we know you’re still not the type to put just anything between your legs. That’s why we’re taking time for a little girl talk to tell you what we know about these women’s bathing suits before you let them touch your naked body. These aren’t the kind of women’s swimsuits you bring home to meet your parents, these are the women’s bathing suits you wear to throw down with your squad at the 24-hour swim-up bar. They’re not the kind you see being worn by experienced snorkelers, they’re the kind of bathing suits for women you see draped over the side of the hot tub, indicating an undeniably more erotic kind of snorkeling. If you like where this is going, you’re in the right place.
Bring Sexy Back With Our Fun and Colorful Women's Swimsuit Styles
Before you commit to owning any of these unconventional women’s bathing suits, let’s get something straight. These women’s swimsuits actively promote debaucherous indulgence in equal parts hooch AND cooch, and girls like us who wear them give an enthusiastic middle finger to the uptight social decorum that’s been trying to ruin a good time lately. We don’t put on eye-catching swimsuits to celebrate oppression, do we ladies? Of course not. Go ahead and tell that to the conservative prudes at Playboy. First, they nix their iconic nude centerfolds, then all the dress code police at the Miss America pageant decide to cut out the women’s swimsuit competition. What’s next? A Sports Illustrated business suit calendar? Mom jeans for Hooters servers? Eff all that. If you’re not starting any scandals this summer, then you’re not partying hard enough. With outrageous women's bathing suits like these, you won’t have to look for the party. You’re already there.