THE GERIATRIC | ONE PIECE SWIMSUIT

The perks of retirement homes are endless: bingo, a constant flow of maids, frequent sex, no condoms, all the hard candy you want, Jell-O and other assorted soft foods. But the best part is, yes, you guessed it: Pool Pilates with Pamela before lunch on Tuesdays. As an ode to you staying young and spry, we made The Geriatric. It's the best part of retirement between your legs.