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Halloween Underwear & Undies

You’ve got Halloween underwear on your mind. We know this because the internet overlords told us that you are in desperate need of pumpkin underwear. OK, we’ll admit that isn’t 100% true. The shocking truth is we have developed a human/pumpkin chimera in our secret laboratory deep below CU Boulder’s campus. It has radical telepathic abilities that allow us to read your mind, but oddly enough only when it comes to underwear needs and wants. At this point you’re probably wondering why on earth we would reveal our company's deepest darkest secret that undoubtedly violates numerous medical and ethical conventions? It’s because nobody even reads the SEO anyways and It’s really been weighing on my consciousness lately so I just wanted to vent a little bit and get it out in the open. If by chance you are still reading this SEO and you are tempted to contact the authorities, just do me a tiny little solid and put the phone down alright? Anyways, let's put the tin foil down and head back to reality here. Who wouldn’t want spooky underwear this season? Shop men’s and women’s matching Halloween undies and don’t frighten yourself when you drop your pants while wearing this spooky underwear. 

You’ve got Halloween underwear on your mind. We know this because the internet overlords told us that you are in desperate need of pumpkin underwear. OK, we’ll admit that isn’t 100% true. The shocking truth is we have developed a human/pumpkin chimera in our secret laboratory deep below CU Boulder’s campus. It has radical telepathic abilities that allow us to read your mind, but oddly enough only when it comes to underwear needs and wants. At this point you’re probably wondering why on earth we would reveal our company's deepest darkest secret that undoubtedly violates numerous medical and ethical conventions? It’s because nobody even reads the SEO anyways and It’s really been weighing on my consciousness lately so I just wanted to vent a little bit and get it out in the open. If by chance you are still reading this SEO and you are tempted to contact the authorities, just do me a tiny little solid and put the phone down alright? Anyways, let's put the tin foil down and head back to reality here. Who wouldn’t want spooky underwear this season? Shop men’s and women’s matching Halloween undies and don’t frighten yourself when you drop your pants while wearing this spooky underwear. 

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Men's and Women's Halloween Underwear to Die for

Spooktacular halloween underwear is found right here on this page along with horrid puns that I refuse to apologize for. How about some gourdgeous pumpkin underwear to match your pumpkin’s underpants? Now THAT’S some spooky underwear if you ask me. Speaking of things that are spooky, have I told you about that time my neighbor made a lasagna out of her newborn's placenta for “Nutritional purposes” and tried to sell me a slice for $10? Turns out it was “Schrödinger’s Placenta” because I was so hungry after eating it that it must have simultaneously existed and not existed in my stomach at the same time. I had to fork out another 20 bones just to get some pizza delivered later that night because of the stingy serving size. Shop Halloween undies for you and your boo right now, cuz we guarantee they’ll leave you more satisfied than Schrödinger’s Placenta.

Underwear Spooky enough to be your Halloween Costume

This Halloween underwear is so spooky, that experts say you don’t even need a costume when you’ve got couples matching pumpkin underwear. Now you may be asking, are there truly experts out there for spooky underwear? My answer is: I have no idea, but what does it matter? You’re still here reading about Halloween undies when you could simply be buying said Halloween underwear. Should you choose to go out of your way and still purchase a costume, it’s mandatory that it be a “sexy” version of your chosen character. You ever wanted to bang the person in the Goofy costume at Disneyland? No? Me either I guess….

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