Rock a pair of swim briefs and swim in them, or don’t, we all know you’ll probably wear these to a poolside cabana in Vegas and never actually touch the water, but by the power of Burt Reynolds you will look as good as a fresh March moustache when you’re there. Our collection of men’s funny swim briefs is changing the swim industry forever. No longer will you have to settle for your father’s boring solid swim briefs that he wore to the ‘82 Lake Havasu wet wang classic, you can finally rock a bald eagle or wolf up on your dong like you’ve always dreamed, or sling some denim print up on there with a denim dong sarong and become an instant legend at any poolside bar, beach bistro, or Boca Raton bingo hall. --- Hilarious Swim Briefs to fit your Sense of Humor Show us one person who claims not to consider animal faces and ex presidents on men’s swim briefs funny, and we’ll show you a damn liar. That’s because outrageous men’s swim briefs are funny under any circumstances, and we’ve got the goods to prove it. From vintage and retro styles to pop culture icons, there’s a borderline inappropriate print for every occasion. Attending a black tie destination wedding? We’ve got swim briefs for that. Hot tubbing with your classy pals? Impress them with your knowledge of Renaissance art on your own piece of work (fun fact: David was a grower, not a shower). Swim Briefs Perfect for Your Next Vacation Unless you’re headed to a nude beach this summer, men’s swim briefs are a travel necessity. Besides the main benefit of package enhancement regardless of water temperature, swim briefs cover all the naughty parts that could get you arrested while leaving your legs free to outrun the fuzz when they try to nab you for something other than indecent exposure. If you manage to smooth things over with the narcs by making them laugh, keep cashing in that good karma and show the world that you’re not just funny - you’re vintage men’s swim briefs funny.

Men's Swim Briefs

 We're pulling from the optimal jean pool here for our newest pair of denim swim briefs. Introducing The Chattahoochee Daddy USA denim patterned men's swim suit. With our aquatic denim line receiving rave reviews, we felt the need to expand our offerings. If you've ever had the urge to dress for the beach like you're staring in a porno, this is the men's swim brief for you. With a little dab of USA and a whole lot of denim, this suit is dying to get to an above-ground pool. 
 DEETS 
 
 Quick-drying, soft and smooth on your gear, high-res print 
 Fits tight, we suggest 1 size up 
 Fully lined with elastic waistband and drawstring 
 Don't be a shirt swimmer 
 Inseam: Negative, Ghost Rider 
 Material: Shell: 88% Polyester, 12% Spandex; Lining: 100% Polyester 
 Hand wash well 
 Brand: Shinesty 
 Designed by Anna P. in Boulder, Co 
 

The Chattahoochee Daddy | Denim Print USA Swim Brief

 No. Description. Needed.  
   
 But seriously. If you've ever wondered what the statue of David swim briefs would look like, you're welcome. And if you've ever secretly wanted the statue of David underwear, your time is now. Be bold. Scare strangers. Own this statue of David swim brief.  
 DEETS 
 
 Quick-drying, soft and smooth on your gear, high-res print 
 Fits tight, we suggest 1 size up 
 Fully lined with elastic waistband and drawstring 
 Don’t be a shirt swimmer 
 Inseam: Negative, Ghost Rider 
 Material: Shell: 88% Polyester, 12% Spandex; Lining: 100% Polyester 
 Hand Wash…well 
 Brand: Shinesty 
 Designed by Anna P. in Boulder, Co 
 
  

The Statue Of David | David Swim Brief

  As seen on   Chicago Cubs players celebrating the first Cubs National League  pennant  in 71 years.   
 We were inspired to create these faux-denim swim briefs when we saw some country boy rocking out at a Florida Georgia Line concert, hammered off of Four Lokos in Daytona. The chap was wearing jorts that were way too short - borderline undies. As people flocked away, we knew he was onto something. The Assid Washers Daytona Dong Sarong was born. You'll get all the benefits of wearing jorts without all of the chafing that comes with it.  
  ﻿   
 DEETS 
 
 Quick-drying, soft and smooth on your gear, high-res print 
 Fits tight, we suggest 1 size up 
 Fully lined with elastic waistband and drawstring 
 Don’t be a shirt swimmer 
 Inseam: Negative, Ghost Rider 
 Material: Shell: 88% Polyester, 12% Spandex; Lining: 100% Polyester 
 Hand Wash…well 
 Brand: Shinesty 
 Designed by Anna P. in Boulder, Co 
 
   

The Assid Washers | Faux-Denim Swim Brief

 
   They say jorts are the above-ground pool of the shorts world. We'd be inclined to agree. Our denim print swim brief, also known as the Daytona Dong Sarong, is just like that, except it is the above-ground hot tub of the swim brief world...or something like that. It is like eating a bag of chips in church. Everyone looks over at you with disgust, but deep down they want some too. And if you're really risky you'll combine those last 2 sentences, eating a bag of chips in church while wearing this denim swimsuit. You'll probably get tossed out, but you'll look and taste good doing it.  
 *These should be paired with caterpillar-style mustaches for optimal results. 
 DEETS 
 
 Quick-drying, soft and smooth on your gear, high-res print 
 Fits tight, we suggest 1 size up 
 Fully lined with elastic waistband and drawstring 
 Don’t be a shirt swimmer 
 Inseam: Negative, Ghost Rider 
 Material: Shell: 88% Polyester, 12% Spandex; Lining: 100% Polyester 
 Hand Wash…well 
 Brand: Shinesty 
 Designed by Anna P. in Boulder, Co 
 
  

The Daytona Dong Sarong | Denim Print Swim Brief

 If you ever woke up on Saturday morning with a nice wedgie in your crack and Animal Planet's "The Jeff Corwin Experience" on the tele, these slippery snake swim briefs are for you. If you revel in the thought of your anaconda slithering into a Playa del Carmen beach bungalow, this green snake print bathing suit is for you. If you're at all worried about jamming your snake and eggs right back where they came from, these babies are definitely not for you. 
  
 
 DEETS 
 
 Quick-drying, soft and smooth on your gear, high-res print 
 Fits tight, we suggest 1 size up 
 Fully lined with elastic waistband and drawstring 
 Don’t be a shirt swimmer 
 Inseam: Negative, Ghost Rider 
 Material: Shell: 88% Polyester, 12% Spandex; Lining: 100% Polyester 
 Hand Wash…well 
 Brand: Shinesty 
 Designed by Anna P. in Boulder, Co 
 
 

Corwin's Constrictor Snake Print Swim Brief

   If you're a pool boy, you have found the holy grail with our tuxedo swim brief. Now Mrs. Peterson has no choice but to give you the mid-thigh elevator eyes while you scrub out the pool that hasn't been used since 'Nam. But it doesn't matter because she can't wait until 11:30 a.m. on Tuesday mornings, when the thunder from down under shows up for some early morning scrubbin'. 
 DEETS 
 
 Quick-drying, soft and smooth on your gear, high-res print 
 Fits tight, we suggest 1 size up 
 Fully lined with elastic waistband and drawstring 
 Don’t be a shirt swimmer 
 Inseam: Negative, Ghost Rider 
 Material: Shell: 88% Polyester, 12% Spandex; Lining: 100% Polyester 
 Hand Wash…well 
 Brand: Shinesty 
 Designed by Anna P. in Boulder, Co 
 
  

The Butlers | Tuxedo Swim Brief

      The swim brief...it's swim attire once reserved for Europeans and larger older men who own yachts. Well, that's no longer the case. Introducing the unsurpassed summer ass, the only American flag swim briefs that say exactly how they feel. From the beach to the above-ground, these nut huggers are here to tell the world exactly what's under your hood. An American flag swimsuit, especially a patriotic swim brief can be your best  friend  or your worst nightmare, but they're always one thing: savage.  
  Sizing Notes: These bad boys are designed to fit a little tight so you don't lose 'em high diving into the pool. Shinesty recommends buying a size up if you're between sizes.  
 DEETS 
 
 Quick-drying, soft and smooth on your gear, high-res print 
 Fits tight, we suggest 1 size up 
 Fully lined with elastic waistband and drawstring 
 Don’t be a shirt swimmer 
 Inseam: Negative, Ghost Rider 
 Material: Shell: 88% Polyester, 12% Spandex; Lining: 100% Polyester 
 Hand Wash…well 
 Brand: Shinesty 
 Designed by Anna P. in Boulder, Co 
 
  

Unsurpassed Summer Ass | American Flag Swim Brief

 You've elevated the game. You no longer play hot dogs or legs when sending a snap chat to your homies, you play hot dog or hot dong with this men's swim brief. You're the kind of guy that loves to put on a show and always wins the cannon ball contest. Imagine how shocked the pool party will be when you drop your pants to reveal this hot dog on your wang. Simply fantastic. Gordon Ramsey approves this message and he approves this hot dog printed men's swim brief. 
 DEETS 
 
 Quick-drying, soft and smooth on your gear, high-res print 
 Fits tight, we suggest 1 size up 
 Fully lined with elastic waistband and drawstring 
 Don't be a shirt swimmer 
 Inseam: Negative, Ghost Rider 
 Material: Shell: 88% Polyester, 12% Spandex; Lining: 100% Polyester 
 Hand wash - well 
 Brand: Shinesty 
 Designed by Anna P. in Boulder, Co 
 

The Mouthful | Hot Dog Swim Brief

  Sun’s out, buns out. Sky’s out, thighs out. This denim print swim brief features rainbow pockets that are not actually rainbows or pockets. And it’s also not made of denim. Do you have the confidence necessary to pull off this swim suit of lies?  
 Product Details 
 
 Quick-drying, soft and smooth on your gear, high-res print 
 Fits tight, we suggest 1 size up 
 Fully lined with elastic waistband and drawstring 
 Don't be a shirt swimmer 
 Inseam: Negative, Ghost Rider 
 Material: Shell: 88% Polyester, 12% Spandex; Lining: 100% Polyester 
 Hand wash well 
 Brand: Shinesty 
 Designed by Anna P. in Denver, Co 
 

The Boca Raton Rainbow | Rainbow Denim Print Swim Brief

 You are the decider. You chose to wear this to your 10-year high school reunion, the local dive bar, and any other scenario this American flag eagle swim brief is perfect for. People will look, and this brief will undoubtedly stare right back at their soul. Then they will look up and see you, the decider, staring back. Then, they will go on about their life, never forgetting what they just say. Decide if you want this or not.  
 DEETS 
 
 Quick-drying, soft and smooth on your gear, high-res print 
 Fits tight, we suggest 1 size up 
 Fully lined with elastic waistband and drawstring 
 Don’t be a shirt swimmer 
 Inseam: Negative, Ghost Rider 
 Material: Shell: 88% Polyester, 12% Spandex; Lining: 100% Polyester 
 Hand Wash…well 
 Brand: Shinesty 
 

The Deciders | American Flag Eagle Swim Brief

 Picture this: you’re rafting down the river. The sun is shining just bright enough to keep you toasty, but not so hot that you’re getting a sunburn. You sigh with complete contentment until something catches your eye. You see a bald eagle swoop down directly in front of you, scoop up a fish, and soar into a tree just along the riverbank. You watch the majestic bird enjoy his fresh catch. NOW you’re truly content. Now immortalize that moment and feeling onto this USA eagle swim brief.    
 Product Details 
 
 Quick-drying, soft and smooth on your gear, high-res print 
 Fits tight, we suggest 1 size up 
 Fully lined with elastic waistband and drawstring 
 Don't be a shirt swimmer 
 Inseam: Negative, Ghost Rider 
 Material: Shell: 88% Polyester, 12% Spandex; Lining: 100% Polyester 
 Hand wash well 
 Brand: Shinesty 
 Designed by Anna P. in Boulder, Co 
 

The Emblem | USA Eagle Swim Brief

 I watch a lot of Planet Earth, and if there is one thing my hero David Attenborough has taught me, it's that the leopard runs at roughly 42 MPH on a bad day. That said, these leopard print swim briefs won't make you run faster or jump higher unless you shave your thighs like Michael Phelps. What they will do is shove those stones right back where they belong so you can tell those Euro boys to kiss it, because they ain't the only ones allowed to crush their nads. If you win a heap of gold medals after blasting the jazz cabbage, however, we'd love to sponsor you and send you an endless supply of swim briefs. Hit us up.  
 Plus, pair this men's leopard swimsuit with our  ladies one-piece  for an even more predatorial look.  
  
 
 DEETS 
 
 Quick-drying, soft and smooth on your gear, high-res print 
 Fits tight, we suggest 1 size up 
 Fully lined with elastic waistband and drawstring 
 Don’t be a shirt swimmer 
 Inseam: Negative, Ghost Rider 
 Material: Shell: 88% Polyester, 12% Spandex; Lining: 100% Polyester 
 Hand Wash…well 
 Brand: Shinesty 
 Designed by Anna P. in Boulder, Co 
 
  
 

The Endangerous Leopard Print Swim Brief

 
  The perks of   retirement homes are endless: bingo, a constant flow of   maids  , frequent sex, no condoms, all the hard candy you want, Jell-O and other assorted soft foods.   But t  he best part is, yes, you guessed it: Pool Pilates with Pamela before lunch on Tuesdays. As an ode to you staying young and spry, we made The Geriatric. It's the best part of retirement between your legs.   
 DEETS 
 
 Quick-drying, soft and smooth on your gear, high-res print 
 Fits tight, we suggest 1 size up 
 Fully lined with elastic waistband and drawstring 
 Don’t be a shirt swimmer 
 Inseam: Negative, Ghost Rider 
 Material: Shell: 88% Polyester, 12% Spandex; Lining: 100% Polyester 
 Hand Wash…well 
 Brand: Shinesty 
 

The Geriatric | Men's Swim Brief

 Hey Australia, we heard you and we did it. The Australian flag swim brief is finally here. Now you can compete with all those  flag  swim trunks out there and show off your very own bin chicken. Hell with the state of the world, and Australia basically being the Switzerland of the south, I bet this Australian flag swimsuit will quickly be the new favorite. So even if you aren't from there, this swimsuit will keep the ladies guessing if you have a sexy accent or not.   
 DEETS 
 
 Quick-drying, soft and smooth on your gear, high-res print 
 Fits tight, we suggest 1 size up 
 Fully lined with elastic waistband and drawstring 
 Don’t be a shirt swimmer 
 Inseam: Negative, Ghost Rider 
 Material: Shell: 88% Polyester, 12% Spandex; Lining: 100% Polyester 
 Hand Wash…well 
 Brand: Shinesty 
 Designed by Anna P. in Boulder, Co 
 
  

The Chattahoochee Daddy

Denim Print USA Swim Brief

The Statue Of David

David Swim Brief

The Assid Washers

Faux-Denim Swim Brief

The Daytona Dong Sarong

Denim Print Swim Brief

Corwin's Constrictor Snake Print Swim Brief

The Butlers

Tuxedo Swim Brief

Unsurpassed Summer Ass

American Flag Swim Brief

The Mouthful

Hot Dog Swim Brief

The Boca Raton Rainbow

Rainbow Denim Print Swim Brief

The Deciders

American Flag Eagle Swim Brief

The Emblem

USA Eagle Swim Brief

The Endangerous Leopard Print Swim Brief

The Geriatric

Men's Swim Brief

The Aussies

Australian Flag Swim Briefs