I'm Dreaming of a Sandy Christmas in These Fun Christmas Bathing Suits
Chances are you don’t already have very many Christmas bathing suits or Christmas swim trunks, but if you’re lucky enough to find your toes in the sand during the holidays instead of crammed inside winter boots and trudging through a frozen urban wasteland, a Christmas swimsuit is the number one thing you need on your holiday packing list. Just think of all the new friends you’ll make when those basic little pink whales see you in your sultry Santa one piece and realize once and for all that the best gifts go to those of us on the naughty list.
If Santa misinterpreted your request for sand and didn’t hide any direct flights to a tropical paradise in your stocking, you can still look like a ho ho ho in a one piece Christmas bathing suit, or deck your balls in a pair of Santa swim briefs or Christmas swim trunks when you make a splash at your next hot tub club meeting. And remember, there’s always next year. In the meantime, try to enjoy your tiny sand-raking zen garden.
Christmas Swimsuits and Trunks to Keep on or Take Off
If you think the term “Christmas swimsuit” is some kind of oxymoron, then clearly you’ve never had the opportunity to attend the annual Shinesty office Christmas party. Over the years, our hardworking, depraved employees have learned to expect the unexpected, and they come prepared with plenty of extra batteries and a Christmas bathing suit or a pair of Christmas swim trunks so they can enjoy activities like the jello shot slip ‘n’ slide from 2015 or the hot tub full of massage oil and peppermint Schnapp’s from way back in 2011. Last year, things at the Comfort Inn and Suites got a little out of control when we used their indoor heated pool for a 113 person game of strip Marco Polo, but if we’d had a chance to take a picture before the hotel manager made us all leave, the image of all those Christmas bathing suits, Santa swim briefs, and empty liquor bottles floating in the water would have made a really great catalog cover. There’s always next year.