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One time my friend tried a spicy burger challenge - he had ten minutes to eat a ghost pepper burger and fries. Drastically misunderestimating the sheer heat involved, he knew he was in danger after his first bite. In order to combat the inferno, he tried to hype-up himself and those around him. Soon a crowd formed.

As his shouts grew louder, a lone, geriatric patron rose from the back of the crowd. He shoved his way to the front of the action until he was within arms reach. The crowd thought this old man would have some encouraging words for my friend, whose spirit and morale was dilapidated, at best. The old man looked my friend dead in the eye and said, "Would you mind shuttin' the hell up burger boy, I'm trying to eat my lunch."

The crowd booed this old man as he hobbled back to his seat. My friend was not able to complete the challenge and slumped his head in shame. However, there was one positive...we've been referring to him as burger boy for the last 5 years and there's no end in sight. This pair of boxers is for you, burger boy, may the legend live on.

Product Details

  • Brand: Shinesty
  • Materials: 95% MicroModal, 5% Spandex (the second softest thing you can put your junk in), machine wash delicate, hang dry 
  • Lightweight, breathable, moisture-wicking, resists shrinking, fading, and wrinkling
  • 4-way stretch, gusseted crotch, and anti-bunching construction
  • Soft, flexible waistband
  • Durable no-itch flatlock stitching
  • Ball Hammock Technology: helps prevent the twins from getting crushed in the grundle


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