Improve your snuggle in these Christmas Onesies for Adults
‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was snuggled, not even Mrs. Claus. The Claus’ were blue without their comfort and snuggles, their hugs and their kisses, their squeezes and cuddles. Santa’s not himself when he doesn’t get snuggled, the elves don’t get paid and the reindeer get muzzled. But there is hope yet with this holiday onesie, this snuggled up PJ that’s totally funsie. This men’s hooded one-piece is a holiday wonder, a true footie treasure, a gift seeker’s plunder. Buy yours on the web at Shinesty.com, and snuggle your way to a live action rom-com.
We could rhyme all day but let’s get to the point... Cuffing season is upon us and you either get snuggled in this Christmas onesie for adults or you weather this romantic season alone, leaving your dating life out in the cold to die. We’re sorry to get so dark so quickly, we know we were spinning some adorable Christmas verses a second ago, but this is real. Winter is far too long and too arduous to survive without snuggles. By the time spring rolls around, you’ll be so out of practice, you’d be lucky to convince someone to give you a handshake. So get your xmas onesie with footies today and lock in your place among the winter lovers. In an array of patterns for both men and women, you can find the pattern best suited to attract your holiday snuggle buddy.
In the immortal words of Andre 3000, the only thing colder than being cold is being ice cold, a.k.a. not cuddling up in this ugly Christmas onesie and spending the rest of your life painfully alone. Don’t disrespect Andre like that, open your heart to this wearable hearth and bask in the warm glory of everybody wanting to sleep with you.
Christmas Onesie patterns: From Plaid to Funny
Our Christmas onesie patterns are a hallucinatory descent from plaid into madness. Slap one on and before you know it, you’re traversing the highland with cheap scotch in one hand and deflated bagpipes tucked under the other. As any highlander knows, there can be only one and unfortunately, it ain’t you chief. Not since Macbeth has there been a more tragic Scottish figure than the likes of you, as things go from bad to plaid to worse. But hark, who is that over yonder heath amongst the flock of sheep? Why it’s a Shinesty rep with a secret to tell you about your Christmas onesie. All he wants in exchange is a sip of your scotch and a toot of your bagpipe. A little weird to be sure but hey, what happens in the highland stays in the highlands. And that’s when he explains “Your xmas hooded onesie isn’t just plaid, it’s also super funny. You’re not in a tragedy dude, you’re in a comedy.”
That’s when you wake up in a cold sweat. Well actually a warm sweat because you’re wrapped up tight in said onesie. But you haven’t simply woken up, you’ve become woke. It’s at this point in your winter fashion enlightenment that you realize there is no free will... That you don’t get to choose between fashionable and funny or between festive and classy, because all our Christmas onesies for adults are all of these things at once. They’re plaid AND sexy. And they’re hooded AND come with footies. Plus, they’re made for both men AND women. So the only thing you can really ask yourself is, do you want to be really comfortable and look outrageously good in this ugly Christmas onesie (we get the irony), or don’t you?