THIS UGLY CHRISTMAS BLAZER IS AVAILABLE FOR PRE-ORDER. IT WILL BE DELIVERED BY NOVEMBER 2016.
Expect a lot of touchin' and a lot of rubbin'. People are attracted to velvet at Christmas. You're probably thinking, "WTF is this made of?" The answer: Austin Powers' chest hair. So yeah, you can say it's sensual more so than sexual.
As for a lot of touching, you may feel a swift pat on the ass from passersby, but know it comes with the territory. Will you look like a tree rug? Possibly, but if someone thinks that, you kick them out of the party without saying a word. This blazer speaks for itself. It's the sinner and the saint of Christmas past, present and future, and you're mistaken if you don't think it'll go after the boss' daughter.