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A Long Time Coming: Everything You Need To Know About Long Underwear (And A Few Things You Don’t)

by Nate Charny
2024-03-22

What Are Long Johns?

Picture a thong. Now picture the exact opposite of a thong. Those are long johns. Long johns are a type of undergarment that provides full leg coverage to keep you nice and toasty when you’re outside in the cold.

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Need another analogy? Picture a woman wearing yoga pants. Now pretend that woman is a man. Those yoga pants just turned into long johns. The tight fit helps prevent cold air from reaching your skin by acting as an additional layer of insulation between your pants and your legs. In that sense, long johns are kind of like blubber on a whale. Ok, that’s probably enough analogies.

Why Are They Called Long Johns?

Yea, it’s kind of weird that men’s long underwear isn’t just called “long underwear,” right? But for some reason we call them long johns. Feels kind of arbitrary to me, so I made a list of other names that would also work:

  • Lengthy Jonathans
  • Extended Johnnies
  • Stretched John-Os
  • Largo Juans (for when you’re chilly in Spain)

Seriously, Why Are They Called Long Johns?

Ok, I googled it and here’s the meaning behind the term Long Johns. In the 19th century, there was a bare-knuckle boxer named John L. Sullivan who always fought wearing only a pair of long underwear. Maybe he was self-conscious about people looking at his skinny calves. Hey, bro, I get it.

Are Long Johns Underwear?

Absolutely! Kind of. Sometimes. Well, it’s complicated and depends on personal preference. A lot of people consider long johns a second layer of underwear. If you’re old school and like to wear white waffle long johns, you’re gonna want a base layer of underwear below them. Need a hand picking the perfect pair? Check Out Our Helpful Men’s Underwear Guide.

But if you want to live on the cutting edge of long underwear technology, you’re gonna need Ball Hammock® Long Johns with a built-in supportive pouch for your round johns. These long johns ARE underwear and don’t require wearing a second pair underneath.

Why Do Long Johns Keep You Warm?

It’s all about skin coverage & insulation. Long johns give you an extra layer of protection from the gusts of cold wind that bombard you in the winter. And unless you’re wearing airtight pants or a spacesuit, that frigid air will find its way to your bare skin. So cover up that bare skin with long johns, and for extra protection, tuck them into your socks. Because what’s the point of bundling up if you’re just gonna have chilly ankles?

What Are Long Johns Made Of?

Traditional long johns are made of that white waffle material that might be cotton. I’d have to check the tag on my long johns and they’re in the other room, so that’s not happening. But we’ve come a long way since then. Our brand new Ball Hammock® Long Johns are made of a MicroModal material that’s 3 times softer than cotton. The fabric is also blended with 5% spandex to ensure a snug fit, which means you’ll actually be able to put pants on over top of them without everything bunching up. Shop Ball Hammock® Long Johns.

When Should I Wear Long Johns?

Easy. Whenever you plan to be outside in winter and want to stay warm. Whether it’s something simple like walking to your car, or something extreme like skiing a double black diamond, long johns will prevent the terrible winter condition known as “Cold Legs.” Of course, if you’re skiing, you’ll need more than just long johns to stay warm. Shop Ski Apparel.

Need more specific guidelines? Over the years I’ve developed a foolproof temperature based system for deciding what pants to wear. Full disclosure: I am insane.

  • 80°F or higher = Shorts
  • 70°F - 80°F = Long pants, but regret it after an hour & change into shorts
  • 35°F - 70°F = Long pants
  • 25°F - 35°F = Long pants but regret not wearing long johns
  • 0°F - 25°F = Long johns, baby!
  • Below 0°F = I’m not going outside today

Can I Wear Long Johns In The Summer?

Long johns are a great choice for the months of May through August. Assuming you live in the Southern Hemisphere when those months are actually winter. But if you reside above the equator, I’d recommend not wearing long johns during summer. That being said, you’ll probably be able to find some good deals on long underwear during the summer months since demand will be so low. Same reason I only buy swimsuits in January.

Stay Weird & Go Long

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