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O.G. SANTA NOTHING FOR YOU HO UGLY CHRISTMAS SWEATER



You meet some mythical holiday characters who just aren't that impressive. The Easter bunny never did it for me. The Great Pumpkin is just some B.S. parents invented to save them money on dentist bills. Cupid...a baby, flying around, sticking people with love arrows...child, please. But Santa is a straight pimp. Dude has been leaving his old girl at home and cruising around the world in a flying sleigh for hundreds of years. 

The medical community deems him "morbidly obese" by all standards, yet you can still find him sliding down your girl's chimney and guzzling down all her milk and cookies.  And he ain't apologizing for nothing.

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