Men's & Women's Swimwear Is Made To Get Soaked

Ah, the sights and sniffs of summer. Glistening, swimsuit-clad coeds in dripping wet teeny bikinis and swim trunks at the pool, the smell of spilled rum mixed with chlorine floating on the breeze, and the neck-breaking stares of strangers as they watch your squad demonstrate the art of erotic exhibitionist sunscreen massage. Whether you're in a bikini, a one piece swimsuit, swim shorts, or a pair of men's swim briefs, you're (probably) showing more skin than usual, so be sure to protect your body's largest erogenous zone with a combination of sunscreen and public intimacy. Remember: sunburn can lead to cancer, but indecent exposure is only a misdemeanor.

Swimsuits Perfect for All Occasions Involving Wetness

Cover all the important parts with SPF 69 and one of these outrageous one piece swimsuits, bikinis, or swim trunks, and you're ready for everything from competitive day drinking at the waterpark to a late night hot tub party at the Holiday Inn. That's because when you're wearing a pair of borderline-scandalous swim briefs or a bikini capable of curing erectile dysfunction, the party never stops. In fact, don't be surprised when that trip down the waterslide takes you and your swim suit all the way to that fine lifeguard's apartment for a free CPR lesson and a post-coital sunscreen massage.

Warning: Bathing Suits May Break Necks at the Pool or Beach this Summer

Bikinis and swim briefs like these are known to attract throngs of eager suitors via provocative sunbathing at the pool or beach, but the allure of these swimsuits doesn't stop at the shoreline. You don't have to get wet right away to get wild with our swim shorts and swimsuits this summer. Hell, the one piece swimsuit even looks great as a body suit, so you can throw it on with a pair of shorts and be ready for spontaneous wetness in any setting. So what are you waiting for? This pool noodle isn't going to ride itself.