Finally, A Guide On How To Make Your Bulge Look Bigger In Underwear
The Secret to a Bigger Bulge
Underwear bulges. We’ve all got one. Well, half of us do. Get out of here, ladies! This blog post isn’t for you. Some guys naturally have a big bulge. They’re the lucky ones. I hate them. But for the rest of us, it’s tough out there. And don’t underestimate the importance of the bulge.
An underwear bulge is like a trailer for an exciting film you can’t wait to see. It teases you enough to draw you in, but shows you enough to let you know this movie is gonna be worth the 16 bucks for a matinee ticket. I’m here to share a secret with you. The secret to a bigger bulge. You probably figured that out from the subject line of this paragraph. And also because you’re on a bulge underwear website.
But who knows? Maybe the secret ISN’T bulge enhancing underwear. Let’s not make assumptions here. But before I share this secret and change your life forever, ask yourself this question: Do you want to make your bulge so big that you routinely knock items off the counter? Then read on, my friend.
Enhance Your Bulge in 1 Easy Step
Put on a pair of Shinesty Ball Hammock Pouch® underwear. It’s that simple. I guess if you want to get technical we can break it down even further. First, ensure you’re not already wearing underwear. No need to double-bag it. Then pick a leg. Could be your right leg, could be your left leg. Your choice. If you’re having trouble deciding, flip a coin. Could be a quarter. Could be a penny. If you’re having trouble deciding just use a quarter.
At this point you’ve been standing there naked staring at loose change and it’s getting weird. Next, make sure you have a pair of Shinesty men’s bulge enhancing underwear out of the package and ready to go. Hopefully you ordered some already and it’s been delivered. NOTE: IF YOU STILL NEED TO RETRIEVE THE UNDERWEAR FROM YOUR MAILBOX, DO SO QUICKLY, AS YOU ARE CURRENTLY NUDE.
Once you’ve got that big bulge underwear in your hands, locate the 2 leg holes and stuff your walking sticks all the way through. One leg in each hole, no need to get fancy. Pull those bad boys up to your waist and note how your junk naturally settles into the bulge enhancing Ball Hammock® Pouch.
So What is a Men’s Underwear Bulge Pouch?
I mean if you really want to know the physics behind bulge enhancing underwear I can tell you, but first make sure you definitely want to know. Because after you learn how a magic trick works you can never look at it the same way again. Ok here’s the deal: Remember that lovely, supportive, comfortable teal fabric that you slipped your balls into? That’s Shinesty’s Ball Hammock® Pouch. It’s like a sports bra for your balls, keeping them secured high and tight so they don’t flop around slapping your thighs all day.
Without Ball Hammock® Pouch underwear, your junk is subject to the force of gravity and will dangle between your legs, leaving you with a microscopic bulge and an even smaller amount of confidence. But Shinesty’s men’s bulge enhancing underwear raises your family jewels up and away from your taint and displays them proudly front and center.
This big bulge underwear is like two ball bras in one! Talk about a good deal. And when your balls are securely in front of you instead of dangling out of control, your bulge - much like the Grinch’s heart - will grow 3 times as large. Maybe even larger. You’ll have to see for yourself because I’m coming over to take before and after pictures of your underwear bulge. Unless you ask nicely.
The Best Bulge Building Underwear in the World
Did it work? You bet your ass it did. Because you, my friend, are wearing the best men’s bulge enhancing underwear ever created. It says “Shinesty” on the waistband and we only put our name on the finest product. If your underwear says “Shanesty” or “$hIn3stY” or “Shinnesty” or “Shoonesty” then you’ve been scammed by one of our jealous competitors peddling an inferior product.
And no matter what fit you prefer, Shinesty’s got your bulge covered. We offer Ball Hammock® Pouch underwear in a wide variety of cuts: Boxer Briefs, Boxer Briefs with Fly, Long Leg Boxer Briefs, Trunks, Briefs. And they’re available in hundreds of patterns ranging from plain to X-rated. You can go ahead and check out the X-rated prints right now, it’s ok. I’ll give you a minute. … … … Welcome back! Pretty raunchy stuff, right? With so many options to choose from, we guarantee your bulge will always have the perfect wardrobe for any occasion.