Do You Wear Underwear With Swimming Trunks? Men, Say Goodbye To Sandy Cheeks.
To commando, or not to commando? That is the question. For millennia, guys have faced a dilemma when heading to the beach or the pool: What do I wear under my swimsuit? Wait, so maybe THAT is the question? Hmm… Gimme a second to sort this out. Ok here’s the ACTUAL question: Do you wear underwear with swimming trunks?
Just For Men
For women, this is usually a non-issue. It’s pretty rare to see a woman wearing a bra under her bikini top. Heck, sometimes in the summer women wear bikini tops AS bras. Unfortunately, wearing swimsuit bottoms as underwear when you’re not at the beach is still generally frowned upon for both men and women. Just do laundry already, bro.
A Brief History of Swim Trunks
A lot of guys grew up during an era when men’s swim trunks had a mesh lining built in. This offered briefs-like support as well as protection from chafing. Unfortunately, after getting out of the water while wearing a mesh liner, it felt like you were walking around in wet underpants for an hour until they dried.
After mesh went out of style, guys generally went commando under their board shorts. While these swim shorts were certainly more stylish, there was also a huge increase in butt crack visibility every time a wave hit you. This is the pivotal point in human history when a lot of guys started wearing underwear under their swimming shorts.
Boxer Briefs vs Secret Speedo
Of course, boxer briefs weren’t the only option. Wearing a Speedo under your swimsuit was seen as a more fashionable alternative. After all, women’s bikinis come in two pieces, so guys were just getting away with wearing a two piece swimsuit where both pieces were bottoms. Unfortunately, if you’re a guy who prefers wearing swim briefs in the first place, it’s tough to cram a pair of underwear under that Speedo.
Swim Shorts Are Not Enough
There are plenty of good reasons why men want to wear an extra layer under their swim trunks.
- Sand. Sand belongs at the beach. Not in your crack.
- Sand. Ever looked at sand under a microscope? It’s made of crushed up sea shells. Does having tiny shards of sea shells scraping against your junk sound like a relaxing day at the beach?
- Chafing. Very few of us can afford swimsuits made of silk or velvet. Bottom line is things are gonna rub against the inside of your trunks (or at least the tips of things) and that’s gonna lead to uncomfortable chafing on the one area of your body that should never be chafed.
- Waves. Water is more powerful than you think and can rip a swimsuit clean off your body. Underwear is a great way to avoid the embarrassment of running back to the car with your hand over your dick.
- Water Slides: Water slides have the opposite problem as waves. Waves want to tear your suit OFF your body, but the force of going down a water slide at terminal velocity tends to wedge your suit IN your body. Underwear gives your cracks and crevices a shield against rogue underwear, while also preventing the unfortunate condition known as “water slide enema.”
The Dark Side of Men’s Underwear
Of course, there are downsides to wearing underwear under a swimsuit. For starters, I hope it’s not a pair of underwear you like. Because whether you’re in the ocean or a swimming pool, those things will begin to deteriorate immediately from the saltwater or chlorine.
And if you’re in a swimming pool when that underwear is deteriorating, the cotton fibers are gonna ruin the filter. And do you wanna risk calling the hot pool guy over to fix things while your wife is tanning on the chaise and you’re stuck at work late? That’s a recipe for disaster. PLUS, after they run off together, you’re gonna have to find a brand new pool guy because you can’t slack off when it comes to pool maintenance.
Finally, do you know what’s all over your underwear? Butt bacteria. And now it’s all in your pool. Open your eyes underwater? Boom. Pinkeye. Accidentally swallow a mouthful? Boom. E coli.
Decision Time, Guys
Ultimately, fellas, it’s up to you to weigh the pros and cons and decide for yourself whether you’ll wear underwear under your swim trunks. But whatever you decide, we’re here to help. First off, you’re gonna need a swimsuit.
Then pick yourself up some underwear. should probably buy one of the uglier prints since it’s gonna get ruined eventually.
Finally, if you’re still on the fence, we recommend our collection of swim briefs. Wear them as a swimsuit, or wear them as another layer under one of our other swimsuits.
OR, and this is the exciting part so we saved it for the third to last sentence: You can get the best of both worlds with our brand new Ball Hammock® Pouch Swim Trunks. These trunks are fully lined with a soft, quick-drying fabric designed to take all the punishment that regular underwear under a swimsuit can’t. Plus, the Ball Hammock® ensures your gonads won’t get pinched by rogue hermit crabs.
Remember the choice is yours. As is the chafe.