If it's warm outside as you read this, I can almost guarantee your gonads are a little sweaty. If you've ever suffered from bat wings, SWASS or chub rub you may be entitled to compensation. Just kidding, we can't offer you money, but we can offer you a solution to your Gold Bond addiction. Introducing Happy Nuts: the most innovative comfort cream to ever soothe your shweaddy balls. It applies like a lotion, and dries like a powder to keep you cool and comfortable 24/7. If all of that hasn't already convinced you that you NEED this stuff, then allow me to remind you that no suitable mate enjoys 'nad sweat. None. Not one.

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Happy Nuts Comfort Cream | Sweat Defense And Odor Control Lotion

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Unscented

Introducing The Mascot Ball Hammock®, aka the eagle's nest, where your balls will experience an unprecedented level of comfort and support from here on out. It's as if your plums mounted a cloud while riding Falcor from The Neverending Story. Or, in this case, the wings of a god-damn Eagle. So check out our American Flag Ball Hammock® pouch underwear, you will not be disappointed.

The Mascot | American Flag Ball Hammock® Pouch Underwear

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We just paired our best selling Ball Hammock® with the most innovative technology in scrotal serenity: the ball cream. This is the yin to your wang. Shop these American flag themed Ball Hammock® and make the best decision of your life by trying Happy Nuts ball cream.

The Mascot | Eagle Ball Hammock® Boxer and Ball Cream Pack

The Mascot

The Mascot

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