You’ve got one speed, and it’s fast. You don’t care who knows it. Actually, scratch that, you want everyone to know it. You are loud and proud about the inferno in your pants, not the burning when you pee kind of inferno, just the normal burn (burning is normal, right?) Wearing these flaming tight shorts feels just like getting the keys to whip Guy Fieri’s ‘67 Camaro. Feel the wind blowing through your bleach blonde tips, taste the salt on your lips and blamo, you’re in Flavortown baby.