The dark black boxers are meant for intense situations. Theoretically speaking, if you are a retired secret agent who gets a sudden call from the President of the United States because he needs you to keep your super-villain arch-nemesis from blowing up the NHL all-star game, you absolutely have to be swass free. With ultra-soft MicroModal material creating a bonafide concealed carry pouch for your glock, saving the world will come hand in hand with a moisture-wicked, uber-comforted grundle.

The Threat Level Midnight | Black Ball Hammock® Pouch Underwear

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If it's warm outside as you read this, I can almost guarantee your gonads are a little sweaty. If you've ever suffered from bat wings, SWASS or chub rub you may be entitled to compensation. Just kidding, we can't offer you money, but we can offer you a solution to your Gold Bond addiction. Introducing Happy Nuts: the most innovative comfort cream to ever soothe your shweaddy balls. It applies like a lotion, and dries like a powder to keep you cool and comfortable 24/7. If all of that hasn't already convinced you that you NEED this stuff, then allow me to remind you that no suitable mate enjoys 'nad sweat. None. Not one.

Happy Nuts Comfort Cream | Sweat Defense And Odor Control Lotion

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Unscented

The yin to your wang has arrived in the form of the most comfortable pair of black boxers you've ever owned. BUT IT DOESN'T STOP THERE. You can buy just those Ball Hammock® alone on another page, but this is where you belong because we've thrown in something to sweeten the deal. This ball cream is about to be your best friend. Got shweddy balls? No longer. Get the best pack on our website now.

The Threat Level Midnight | Black Ball Hammock® Boxer and Ball Cream Pack

The Threat Level Midnight

The Threat Level Midnight

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