Pit Vipers: Functional, Yet Bad Ass Sunglasses
What the fuck is up, my brother? It’s your perpetually caffeinated, Pit Viper sunglasses-wearing neighbor Randy, the part-time furniture mover and full-time WWE enthusiast. When I’m not lifting insane amounts of weight, cutting the sleeves off of all my shirts, or winning life LIKE A MANIAC, I’m usually soaking up the rays from behind a pair of mirrored pit viper shades because a nice honey glow on the guns really brings out their definition. That’s not the only time I let these polarized double wides sit on my pretty face though. I like to wear ‘em to work to keep my wandering eyes from getting me in some kind of lawsuit, and I never don’t wear them out with the boys when we’re trying to crush a few cans and get rowdy with the ladies. I couldn’t even tell ya how many monster truck rallies they’ve gotten me into for free, and chicks are always asking me for my autograph. I’m not sure if they think I’m somebody famous or just a sexy as hell mofo in a pair of pit viper shades, but I try to keep a Sharpie on me just in case I get the chance to sign some chesticles.
Make a Statement with Pit Viper Shades
Why do I love these bad ass 1993 flavored face candies? ‘Cause every pair of pit viper style sunglasses was made to get you laid, brother. Just try taking a date to Wal-Mart in anything other than a pair of pit viper shades, and see how long it takes those panties to drop. It’s definitely not gonna happen in aviators, but when you cruise in with a pit viper sunglasses, that dressing room has your name on it like a Motel 6 reservation. I’d come with ya and video it for my YouTube channel, but I’m about to go inside and watch Dog the Bounty Hunter. Peace.