You may have heard of something known as the red dress effect, but we'd like to introduce a new, simpler theory. It's called the red dong effect, the idea that sliding into a pair of these solid red boxer briefs causes ladies across the globe to flock, and inevitably makes your junk look gigantic. That's because these nut nesting boxers are the second softest thing you can put your junk in and the last pair of red pouch boxers you'll ever buy. Why? Because MicroModal fabric is softer than Drake, and Ball Hammock® technology gently lifts the boys out of the grundle, keeping 'em dry and looking big as ever. Do us a favor and give the red dong effect a try, then check out what Men's Health's has to say about 'em.

The Red Dong Effect | Red Ball Hammock® Pouch Underwear

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These classic solid grey boxer briefs are a look for an experienced love maker. These puppies will keep the spunk bunkers happier than Christian Grey entering a room full of handcuffs and tassels. Little known fact is that Grey actually kept some silky MicroModal material on a podium right next to the largest “tool” in his collection. For an individual involved in such intense extra-curricular activities, comfort and color neutrality are absolutely key, and according to the research conducted by a dude on our marketing team, this particular shade of grey actually evokes rapid and aggressive emotions of sensuality even amongst the worst of enemies. Whether you’re looking to try something new in the slumber zone or make amends with your ex-best friend from middle school, these grey pouch boxers will keep your stones from interrupting the conversation.

The 50 Shades Of Gonads | Grey Ball Hammock® Pouch Underwear

The dark black boxers are meant for intense situations. Theoretically speaking, if you are a retired secret agent who gets a sudden call from the President of the United States because he needs you to keep your super-villain arch-nemesis from blowing up the NHL all-star game, you absolutely have to be swass free. With ultra-soft MicroModal material creating a bonafide concealed carry pouch for your glock, saving the world will come hand in hand with a moisture-wicked, uber-comforted grundle.

The Threat Level Midnight | Black Ball Hammock® Pouch Underwear

You might already have a pair of Ball Hammock® boxers that have something aggressive on the dong region, like an American Eagle, or maybe even a hot dog. I think it might be time for you to give a nod to the classics with these dark blue solid Ball Hammock® boxers. If you go home, and your mom does your laundry, she won't ask questions about these plain blue men's boxers. But if you show up with a wild animal on your peen, you've got some explaining to do.

The Big Blue | Dark Blue Ball Hammock® Pouch Underwear

The Green Boys | Men's Green Ball Hammock® Pouch Underwear

Shop the Crayola men’s underwear pack. This colorful men’s boxer 5 pack just became your newest favorite place to put your gonads. Made from ultra-soft MicroModal material, these nut huggers are 3x softer than cotton and 69x softer than any other boxer briefs pack you’ve purchased. The more you buy, the more you save with this mens boxer briefs pack. Put your pair in a pair today.

The Crayola | Solid Ball Hammock® Boxer Brief 5 Pack

The Crayola

The Crayola

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