You may have heard of something known as the red dress effect, but we'd like to introduce a new, simpler theory. It's called the red dong effect, the idea that sliding into a pair of these solid red boxer briefs causes ladies across the globe to flock, and inevitably makes your junk look gigantic. That's because these nut nesting boxers are the second softest thing you can put your junk in and the last pair of red pouch boxers you'll ever buy. Why? Because MicroModal fabric is softer than Drake, and Ball Hammock® technology gently lifts the boys out of the grundle, keeping 'em dry and looking big as ever. Do us a favor and give the red dong effect a try, then check out what Men's Health's has to say about 'em.

The Red Dong Effect | Red Ball Hammock® Pouch Underwear

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You bring the weiner, we've got your bun. Introducing the Coney Islands, our all-new hot dog Ball Hammock® boxer briefs. We called these babies the Coney Islands for one simple reason. Place you're weiner and tots in these hot dog print boxer briefs and you've got a tropical destination for your dong. That's because ultrasoft MicroModal material keeps your buns dry so they don't get bbq'ed in the summer heat. And the bonified ball pouch is like a bun for your boys, keeping 'em situated all day long. Whether you're packing a Ballpark frank or Polish sausage, these weiner-whispering pouch underwear make your bulge look so big, girls gonna want a hot dog REAL BAD. Just make sure you use the proper condom-ents....

The Coney Islands | Hot Dog Ball Hammock® Pouch Underwear

The dark black boxers are meant for intense situations. Theoretically speaking, if you are a retired secret agent who gets a sudden call from the President of the United States because he needs you to keep your super-villain arch-nemesis from blowing up the NHL all-star game, you absolutely have to be swass free. With ultra-soft MicroModal material creating a bonafide concealed carry pouch for your glock, saving the world will come hand in hand with a moisture-wicked, uber-comforted grundle.

The Threat Level Midnight | Black Ball Hammock® Pouch Underwear

Name's Dong. James, Dong. Dress your genitals to the 9s with these black tie tuxedo boxers. Why? Because first impressions are everything. That's why they offed Bambi’s mom in the first scene of the movie. Who’s gonna watch 90 minutes about a deer unless there’s some serious grit to it, maybe even the possibility of a Punisher level redemption plot? Like, why else would Bambi befriend someone named ‘Thumper’? But we’re getting off track. The point is you should always dress to impress. No one wants to sputter along in a Toyota Echo when they can roll up in a stretch hummer limousine. People notice the difference. Size matters. That’s why these high-class bow-tied nut huggers matter.

The 009 | Black Tuxedo Ball Hammock® Pouch Underwear

You might already have a pair of Ball Hammock® boxers that have something aggressive on the dong region, like an American Eagle, or maybe even a hot dog. I think it might be time for you to give a nod to the classics with these dark blue solid Ball Hammock® boxers. If you go home, and your mom does your laundry, she won't ask questions about these plain blue men's boxers. But if you show up with a wild animal on your peen, you've got some explaining to do.

The Big Blue | Dark Blue Ball Hammock® Pouch Underwear

Life is better when you buy in bulk. That’s why Costco exists. Do I need two 6 packs of oversized almond poppyseed muffins? No. But am I going to eat two a day for the next 6 days? Probably. We had that same mentality when we created this best sellers Ball Hammock® Pouch Underwear 5 Pack and marked it 20% off because more underwear for less money is always better.

The Bread and Butter | Best Sellers Ball Hammock® Pouch Underwear 5 Pack

The Bread and Butter

The Bread and Butter

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