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Description

Long story short, these red space dye Ball Hammock pouch underwear are here to remind you that the Earth is slowly crumbling beneath our feet. But don't worry, not all hope is lost. A few years ago after a particularly aggressive bender, my friend who is extremely interested in astronomy gave me hope. She said that Saturn's moon, Titan, could be terraformed to be inhabitable for us humans. We must also employ this stellar tactic with Mars. If you're not a space explorer, do what you can to help the cause by purchasing these Ball Hammocks that technically have nothing to do with the future of our planet.

SHINESTY BALL HAMMOCK
Pouch Underwear Technology

THE POUCH

An extra piece of fabric that keeps your stones from slipping into the gooch, helps prevent ball-to-leg velcro and cradles your nuts on the wings of an angel.

THE POUCH

An extra piece of fabric that keeps your stones from slipping into the gooch, helps prevent ball-to-leg velcro and cradles your nuts on the wings of an angel.

THE FABRIC

MicroModal is 3x softer than cotton, ultra-breathable and wicks sweat away faster than a ShamWow.

THE FABRIC

MicroModal is 3x softer than cotton, ultra-breathable and wicks sweat away faster than a ShamWow.

THE MAGIC

These ball cradling wonders have bulge enhancing technologies to turn any grower into a shower.

THE MAGIC

These ball cradling wonders have bulge enhancing technologies to turn any grower into a shower.

THE TECHNICALS

Every Ball Hammock features 4-way stretch, gusseted crotch, no-itch flatlock stitching, anti-bunching construction and an invisible map to the lost city of Atlantis.

THE TECHNICALS

Every Ball Hammock features 4-way stretch, gusseted crotch, no-itch flatlock stitching, anti-bunching construction and an invisible map to the lost city of Atlantis.

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