Simply put, you're gonna be a hot dog. We're not talking Oscar Meyer hot dog complete with all the fixings. We're talking the hot dog who's the chair lift casanova, the hot dog who spreads the eagle wider than the Red Sea. After all, it's not about how good you are. It's about how good you look.
Go ahead and skip the lift line because you're a hot doggin' honey badger now. Carry two Bud-diesels because you now have two inside breast pockets to stash 'em. Shit, just carry three.
What's the only thing more satisfying than all the free drinks bound to come your way when you wear it? The zipper, nicknamed the 'Willyfinder,' that goes all the way down so you can get it all the way out. Finally, the days of fumbling for your pecker just to let one loose slopeside, are over.
Of course, all that will be no matter to you. The inside fleece lining of this beaut's softer than a newborn baby's behind and warmer than the swaddling blanket it's wrapped in.