***Roadies fit like a traditional performance polo. For reference, If you're a comfortable large t-shirt, you'll fit into a medium perfectly.***
Here's what this piece of clothing means to the world. If it were a human, it'd drive a 1989 cream-white Ford Bronco to tell it's old lady they're getting a divorce because it wants a more powerful woman... that woman being Oprah Winfrey. It drinks Titos and soda because it's strong in horsepower and drinkable.
If it's a sex scandal, it'd be a hybrid of Anthony Weiner and Brett Farve, with the outcome resembling Hulk Hogan.
If it were a sporting tournament, it'd be the US Open and it would show up hungover with Oakley shades, only to have a Lambo waiting at it's house because Oakley wants to sign you since you won the tournament. It would celebrate at Chilis with 2-4-1 margaritas because it hates 5-star restaurant.
ABOUT THE BRAND: ROADIES - These ridiculous looking but highly arousing polos were conceived by three peach state residents who refuse to drink water unless it's inside a glass of Tito's. Their polo creations (appropriately named "Roadies") can be a bit brash upon first glance, but once you get to know them you realize that they have fascinating personalities.
We spent some time interviewing and examining this brand, at a psychological level, and here is what we've learned: If Roadies were a guy he'd be great with moms, drive a 92 cutlass supreme, and prefer 2-fer-1 margaritas at Chili's over Fogo De Chao any day of the week. Although he hates cilantro, he will whip you up the best fish tacos you've ever tasted. Like so many of us, in his youth he was tempted by fast cars and loose women but settled down back in '07. He still loves his wife passionately, but he'd leave her for Oprah if given the chance. If he were a sex scandal he'd be Anthony Weiner, he knows he shouldn't but he's still gonna send it. All in all, we'd say Roadie is a pretty solid dude. Wouldn't let him babysit my nephew, but I'd definitely have a beer or twelve with him on the golf course.