Our men's 90s retro print kimono is loud. So much so that you won't need to talk at parties anymore... if you choose not to. The party kimono will do all the talking. Almost every interaction will go something like this...

Party Goer: "That kimono is awesome. Can I touch it?"

You won't even have a chance to reply before they're experiencing the sexual sensations of 100% polyester satin. Boom. You just "Shape of Water-ed" the whole party.