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Complete the look

Macho man randy savage sunglasses


Shinesty party crew socks white


Not a porn site red shinesty hat


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Product Details

  • 100% Lightweight polyester
  • Brand: One Resolution Clothing


Imagine actually fishing in this blue Hawaiian shirt. Clouds clear out of respect. Boaters wave from a distance to ensure they don't disrupt the water. Retired folks strike up small talk with you for no reason.

People will also immediately assume you're hiding a beer gut under the aloha shirt. And they'll probably be right. But wait! That's totally cool because beer guts make you more desirable. Men will like you because of your non-threating appearance. Women will want to date you because... well we don't really know why. Maybe it's some sort of comfort thing. Like you won't be able to find another woman because you're slightly overweight. Maybe it's because women find men in blue shirts more attractive (which is a fact). Maybe it's Maybelline.

Just because I'm was a psych minor doesn't mean I can explain to you why this short sleeve Hawaiian will change your life. You just have to trust me. Unless you're a sucker for reverse psychology. Then don't trust me.

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