"All gold err thang," they say. The karats be 24*, just like the Dayton's you ride on, swangin' around town. The future's bright, so you need a pair of gold sunglasses to keep you on track. That's where these peripheral shade blockers come in. Haters look from the sidelines, so it's easy to stay on point when the 4Q comes along.
They're military grade, like the cartels' golden Glocks. The blades also have three separate adjustment points so going from rad to the raddest is a click away (aka you can make 'em fit your perty mug better).
Only thing we'd change is to move that mirrored lens to the inside so you could see how badass you look.