The tuxedo shirt was designed in the glory years of the 1970s to introduce the lazy to elegance, while saying “I don’t give a rat’s ass where I am. I’m here for the open bar.” Fast-forward 45 years.
Introducing the new legend: the Traxedo. This 100% polyester, 200% awesome two-piece tracksuit with tuxedo trim still tells the world you have no idea what a cummerbund is, but lets you put on that telltale, tuxedo-shirt-style façade of composure.
It features an elastic band to hold your gut in while you rattle off beer after beer at high noon. A Velcro bow tie is sewn in to lift the spirits of every washed-up man and give him a pat on the back and spank on the ass for encouragement.
“Holy shit, who’s the beautiful savage in the Traxedo. I bet he’s going to shut that open bar down,” said anyone who has ever seen the Traxedo.