Stop letting the terrible taint steal your lucky charms and start treating your package with respect. It's called the Ball Hammock boxer brief, and it's your Gold Coin Pouch from here on out.
These gold coin boxers have a bonafide Ball Hammock that acts as the pot of gold for your buried treasure, making sure they stay protected until your lady finds the end of the Rainbow. Plus, they're made with an ultrasoft MicroModal material that's softer than soggy gold coin chocolates after I've left them in my pocket all day. Weird comparison, but you'll get the idea if Men's Health tells ya.