They said I was "troubled" as a kid. Well, if you call a 13-year-old boy with a 35-year-old girlfriend "troubled," then yeah, I'd say I was pretty troubled. I went from snappin' necks to cashin' checks in 100% polyester and 300% arrogance. This feature of the Traxedo has made many daughters thunderstruck and many fathers spiteful. When things start getting hot with you and your forbidden fruit at the fiesta, it's time to pull that Ace out of your sleeve by un-velcroing your bow tie. All of these features made me the man I am today. Looking back, that bow-tie and full-zipper combo are what caused me "troubled" at 13.