PEOPLE DON'T FORGET | AMERICAN FLAG WOOD FLASK

The first time I got drunk in college, I learned a very valuable lesson: if you're going to drink 14 pony beers, you shouldn't scatter them throughout your dorm room. Similarly, if your RA asks why he found said pony bottles, don't say, "They're not mine," when you live in a single room. A flask would have been very useful in this situation and could have saved me a letter to my parents. 

P.S. I'm still bitter, Hayden, people don't forget.