“Damnit. The Fourth of July is closer than I thought and I need an American Flag Swimsuit.”
Well, you’re in luck. Here at Shinesty, our line of American themed swimsuits piss off the fun police of the world.
Everyone needs a red, white and blue bathing suit. What are you going to do for a Fourth of July party, show up in a t-shirt and jeans? No. And if you did that, you’d be the antithesis of a good time - like a lifeguard. You can’t have a fun time being a lifeguard. They want you to act out of line so they can impose the one iota of control they have. And nothing irritates them more than someone in a USA bikini and American swim trunks enjoying their freedom by engaging in horseplay around the pool.
Beach & Pool Fashion: American flag swimwear that will make your grandmother blush.
The best beach and pool fashion is not putting zinc oxide on your nose wearing one of those red swimsuits, ironically paying tribute to the lifeguards. That’s just as bad as the guy who wears a shirt that says “security” at a concert. He’s not cool, he’s a narc. Following this logic, an American flag bikini is essentially the inverse of being a narc. And this, ladies and gentlemen, is what summer beach parties are all about: upsetting the fun suckers of the world. Whether it’s at the beach, fun park, or above ground pool at the end of the cul-de-sac, these patriotic bathing suits will hop in the water immediately after you eat.
This summer, don’t be the pool tool, make the pool cool.