Outrageous St. Patrick's Day Clothing
BREAKING NEWS: New epidemic sweeps the nation during St. Patty's Day making the bubonic plague seem like the common cold. Get your green on and get ready to fight the sickness while wearing one of these St. Patrick's Day outfits. The Irish flu is here, and not even Saint Patrick himself can save you now. Don't panic. Even anti-vaxxers can be protected. All you have to do is wear some of this St. Patrick's Day apparel. These St. Patrick's Day clothes are bound to make your ex swoon, your dog howl and your liver weep. The good news is that wearing this St. Patrick's Day clothing will forge a ruse of sobriety, helping reduce the spread of the Irish flu. Oh, you've never heard of the Irish flu? This temporary, unpleasant condition is characterized by a pounding headache and potential nausea following the consumption of excessive amounts of alcohol. It's time to protect yourself and get vaccinated. Wear some St. Paddy's apparel from this page. Match your mate, your gals, or stand out on your own. Get to your nearest liquor store or dive bar on or before March 17th. Ask for the Jameson Shot, and you will be safe.
Party Outfits for St. Patrick's Day
I'm going to be straight up with you, is that okay? This St. Patty's day, you and your crew will need some St. Patrick's Day clothing. You're going to head to an Irish pub, you'll be wearing green, and you'll be channeling your inner debaucherous Saint Patrick. If you know what's good for you, you all will be wearing one of these St. Patrick's Day outfits because they are the finest of all themed apparel on the internet. You'll be slugging green beer in these St. Patrick's Day clothes, you will have an Irish car bomb or two, you will find cabbage in your many pockets, you might even attempt to pay for a beautiful stranger's beverage with gold coins. The point of my rant is this: the clothing makes the man, and the man makes the holiday. This St. Patrick's Day apparel is essential to your festivities. Oh, right, and you're probably going to puke. But hey, isn't that what drinking holidays were made for?