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Retro, Vintage, & Neon Sunglasses by Shinesty

They want to sit on your face. Let them. Shinesty sunglasses have sun blocking range beyond your wildest, wettest dreams. Retro sunglasses, 90s sunglasses, and vintage-inspired shades so you can hide your sinning eyes from your mother, who despite your best efforts definitely knows exactly what you've been up to. Granny gold sunglasses to paint your back porch red and visor sunglasses for blocking out the haters. What more could you ask for? You could ask for American flag sunglasses, or ski sunglasses and we’ve got those too damnit. All to say, what you want is what we've got, 90's, 80's, and 70's sunglasses keeping it shady through the decades. Mirrored, reflective, and tinted sunglasses, that would not be street legal on my '96 Camry. Or possibly you want some colorful sunglasses? Well this has gone on pretty long at this point but you probably know that we have those too.

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Your Future is Bright in a Pair of Shinesty Sunglasses

The late, great Ray Charles was a truly badass sunglasses-wearing icon who, sadly, never got the chance to tickle the ivories from behind a pair of Shinesty sunglasses, but considering that the undeniable allure of our sunglasses transcends well beyond sight to engage and tantalize all five of the senses, even he could have seen the appeal of these badass shades.

Listen as you bury your face inside a pair of neon pit viper sunglasses, letting them gently massage your sensitive ears into your new favorite erogenous zone like a naughty AMSR video. Because you can literally taste the way they shield your eyes from the sun and gently wrap around your head, your mouth will water while attempting to make eye contact from behind the reflective mirrored lenses. And depending on which lucky pair of sunglasses you pick to straddle your naked face, don’t be surprised if your sudden overproduction of pheromones make you smell the heady confidence of the countless others who have worn these eye-peeler concealers before you. From lifeguards and ski instructors observing more physique than technique, to private investigators and celebs trying to keep a low profile, Shinesty sunglasses are the nose clothes everyone can get behind. 

With Our sunglasses, Find Happiness Where the Sun Shines and Where it Doesn’t

Once you manage to regain your composure from the pleasure tsunami caused by wearing a pair of Shinesty sunglasses for the first time, you can ride the residual waves of satisfaction like an experienced sunglasses connoisseur. You’ll appreciate the perceived effect of x-ray vision when you’re able to secretly check out as much booty as you want in a pair of impenetrable Pit Viper wrap around ski sunglasses, or give the impression of relative sobriety when you hide your dilated, bloodshot eyes behind some funky tinted retro lenses. From all colors of vintage & retro 70’s and 80’s sunnies to men’s or women’s Pit Viper 90’s style ski sunglasses, we’ve got a pair of ogle goggles ready to mount and ride your face for every sunshiny occasion. Choose from retro sunglasses, 90’s sunglasses, polarized aviator sunglasses, gold sunglasses, gold mirrored sunglasses, mirrored sunglasses, ski sunglasses, blade sunglasses, or American flag sunglasses, and enjoy a double shot of vitamin D while you soak up those rays with everything but your delicate corneas.

If you think you’re ready to join our legions of happy sunglasses customers, click here and scroll to the bottom of the page to keep reading about the characters behind each of our signature styles and pick the one that’s right for you.

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