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Your Lyft driver will absolutely hate you

 

Like any rapidly growing tech enterprise, we pride ourselves on product testing and these blow-up costumes passed the usual gamut. BUT, there were a few talking points.

 

So, we whipped up the answers to all the questions you’ll undoubtedly have before you put these suckers in your cart.

"Blow Me" Up Inflatables

                                                                                           

 

"If I fart in this thing, am I going to have to call it a night?"

No. This thing's got a Cummins turbo diesel engine of a fan that will thrust any air biscuit straight through the membrane before you have a chance to own it.

This gives a new meaning to "fart in the wind."

Fresher Than A Newborn

                                                                                      

"Am I going to swim in a sea of sweat under that?"

If you wear traditional garb under it then yeah, you may sweat the night away.

But, if you've done that, you've glanced right over the greatest attribute this inflatable holds: the opportunity to go buck naked with fans blowing across your body in public.

Give It A Try & Tell Us How It Feels

                                                                                                   

"How the hell can I pee in this thing?"

We can't spin this one, but there's a reason they invented catheters. They go for $30 online, or you can make your own from Home Depot for $10 like we did.

Just Pull It Out When The Night's Over

                                                                                                   

"Can I even run from the cops in that thing?"

Of course. It's called squirrel speed. Clearly, you've never seen this video.

Every Squirrel Gets A Nut

                                                                                               

"Sweet, now I'm completely cut off from the outside world. How can I drink my drinky drink?" 

This 8-foot baby has something called the "suckhole" and every good hole needs a first mate plugging the VELCRO barrel (basically, your buddy's buying you drinks all night).

Call A Spade A Spade

"But, what if I don't want my friend to go broke?"

If there's anything else an 8-foot baby is good for, it's setting up your MacGyver bar and serving yourself mint juleps until your batteries die or your swizzle stick can't muddle anymore.

It's Like Your Own Speakeasy

And You're Doing All The Talking

                                                                                                 

Stay Weird & Stay Big

 

 

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