“Life starts all over again when it gets crisp in the fall."
F. Scott Fitzgerald
Fitzgerald lied. Nothing about fall symbolizes new life. Fall is essentially the foreshadowing of natural beauty's imminent demise. Forests transform from lush natural wonders filled with flora and fauna to terrifying, icy boneyards.
Pumpkin is the most overrated flavor on planet Earth. It’s just a dirty, bland vegetable meant to be carved into a Halloween decoration. It’s certainly not meant to be made into coffee, bread, or yogurt, and it definitely has no place in my beer.
Sure it may be a cultural phenomenon, but with 50 grams of sugar in your Venti PSL - you are literally begging for type two diabetes.
When fall arrives, these normally docile creatures get all jacked up on fermented crab apples and start looking for fights.
Don’t believe us - see 'em here.
What's that? You think Saturdays are for the boys? Not during fall. Your Saturdays will now consist of pointless plaid-filled leaf-peeping excursions, visiting "farms" to pick bruised apples off the ground, and over priced hay rides from dudes in flannel shirts named Burris. Have fun not watching football.
There's no reason for this picture. We thought the ketchup and mustard perfectly brought out the color of the changing leaves. But, if you thought it was offensive, count that as another mark against the fall.