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Hand Crafted V-Day Letters. Put Your Love In Our Hands

We did the math. There are over 180 million Valentine's Day cards exchanged over the holiday. To us, that means one thing: a market ripe for the taking.
Whether you're single, in a committed relationship, or a polygamist, one of these Shinesty employees will craft a letter capable of whisking your partner away into a sultry den of love.
                                                                                                                             


Catered Love Letters

And Their Respective Authors

How it works:

1. select raunchiness level

2.leave us the details (to, from, etc.) in your order notes

3. pay the man $20, or $30 for NC-17

4. cross "Get a Valentine's Day card" off your list

This note foreshadows an evening filled with overpriced roses, coarse dry humping,  and an ending as sad and unsatisfying as Marley and Me.

*Expect mild rude humor and brief sensuality.

Subtle Is Sexy

 

This style is best described as Kate Winslet's quick nipple in Titanic. Nothing more, nothing less.

*Expect sensuality with brief sexuality and an abundance of suggestive material.

Make It Steamy

 

With a tongue like that, his narratives involve third base, erotic fantasies, and pure, passionate love making.

*Expect the F-word used as a verb, a suggestive sex scene/act, and erotic content.

That Tongue's Not Just For Talking

 

PARENTAL WARNING BELOW

*Disclaimer: you will need to be age verified before purchasing.

  

Cody is our in-house nymphomaniac and will lay some metaphorical pipe on any NC-17 love letter ordered or your money back.

*I don't know what you should expect. Seriously, it could be too much. Peep the needle-point for his credibility. 

Give Me The NC-17
                                                                                                                                     

After the imminent success of this poetic campaign, we will most likely cease selling tangible goods.  Here's potentially your last chance to buy Valentine's Day suits so ugly, your lover will have no choice but to rip them off.

Shop The Love-Making Collection

 

Look Out For the Mail & Shine On

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