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May The 4th Be With You

May 4th is to Star Wars fans what April 20th is to stoners...

In the same way 420 has police to rain on the parade, today's the day Trekkies try to steal the limelight from Star Wars fans. 

To settle which series reigns supreme, we pitted the two against each other on the 7 factors any great sci-fi flick is measured against.


7-Round Intergalactic Nerd Franchise Deathmatch



Factor 1: Originality

Turns out the creators of Star Wars are some of the greatest plagiarizers the world has ever known.

Star Trek hit the tubes Sep 8, 1966. Star Wars... almost 11 years later reared its head on May 22, 1977. You can build quite a case against an enemy if you've had over 10 years to exploit their weaknesses and craft a new tale. 

Star Trek: 1 | Star Wars: 0


Factor 2: Character Sensuality

A picture is worth a thousand words, so, we'll just leave you with this...

Star Trek: 2 | Star Wars: 0

Factor 3: Cleanest Asses

There's no competition when Chewie has to take sheep shears to his ass every other Tuesday so his backside doesn't look like peanut butter smeared on a shag carpet. 

Even Klingons don't have cling ons. 

Star Trek: 3 | Star Wars: 0


Factor 4: Infliction of Collateral Damage

While William Shatner is making mills off Priceline by hocking cruises to old ladies who don't know how to use the internet, Harrison Ford has been a hostile threat since the first time the Han hopped in the pilot's seat. 

He's crashed two planes and a helicopter. Came within striking distance of a Boeing 737 before landing on a taxiway, and insurers won't let him fly when he has on-set responsibilities. 

Star Trek: 3 | Star Wars: 1

Factor 5: Reviled Character Creation

Jar Jar was meant to be a star and ended up the most hated character in the history of cinema, even among Star Wars fans. That would be like New England hating Tom Brady.

He may also be a Sith Lord.

Factor 6: Enterprise Sell-Out-Ability

For $4 billion. To Disney. In case you've been living under a rock.

Star Trek: 3 | Star Wars: 3


Tie Breaker:
Factor 7: Use of Sexual Taboos



It doesn't get much more taboo than incest.

Star Trek: 3 | Star Wars: 4 

The votes are in.

If it was Star Trek Day, you bet your ass we'd find a way to flip the script and let the Trekkies win. 

But, since its May Fourth, all Star Wars suits and insulated onesies are 20% off for 24 hours

We'd Sell You Star Trek Stuff If We Had It

But All We Have Is Star Wars Gear

...Which Is 20% Off

Live Long & Prosper

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