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Delete This Blog...If You Didn't Go To College

2 Cleveland Steamers,

22 oz Gasoline,

1 bout of Plantar Fasciitis,

17 Lit'l Smokies,

and 1-lifetime ban from Disney Resorts later...

Grab your walking around money, cuz these new, officially licensed NCAA shoes are...

We WALKED five-hun-dred-miles and we walked five-hun-dred-more just to be the ones who walked a thousand miles so you know what to expect before these suckers show up at your door.

These will stain, early and often. The canvas fabric holds onto stains so well it would make Billy Mays rise from the dead for one final OxiClean infomercial.

*These worn-in-photoshoot shoes are available for purchase with stains still on them. Email customerservice@shinesty.com to get these half off at $29.99.

Listen up you entrepreneurial, Adderall-slanging college pharmacists, the first thing you need to learn about being a kingpin is you've gotta mark your territory. 

Get One On Every Block

The laces were the first to go...up in flames. Once the smoke clears you'll be left with a one-of-a-kind charred look only 91 octane can deliver.

*Get these limited worn-in-photoshoot, baptism-by-fire edition samples, for free while supplies last. All you have to send customerservice@shinesty.com a note about why you deserve them most, and how you'll use them. Must be submitted by 7PM Est on Friday, March 10th. 

Where There's Fire There's Water

Throw away your arm floaties. These are the forbidden love children of Crocs and Chucks.

They Could Raise The Titanic

What's better than 8 eyelets? 14 eyelets. It's a modern marvel how a non-high-top shoe can feature so many grommets on such a small eyestay.

*We originally scored its grommetization factor 14/14, but after consideration, revised it to 16/14 because we forgot to count the two side grommets for ventilation.

The sole's design was inspired by a 2x4. If you plan on breaking these in while drinking around the world at Epcot (how we walked 1000 miles and got a lifetime ban from all Disney properties in only 35 min), you should expect a mean case of Plantar Fasciitis.

They're Still Better Than Crocs

It doesn't take an associate's degree from Devry to know these are your basic tailgate shoes. Don't expect an exquisite pair of Heelys or artfully constructed Air Force Ones. They're made to absorb beer, throw-up, and condiments...then be washed at least 8 times like your old pair of white VANS.

I Didn't Even Go To College

But I'll Take These Shoes

*Right now we only have these 10 NCAA schools, but if you don't see your team and would like us to carry it, please sign up here.

 

Sharpshoot & Shine On

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