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6 ways to blow your tax refund.

Treat Yo'self On Tax Day: 

First off, if you are just hearing today is tax day...stop reading this and file for an extension here immediately.
For everyone else, if you are not spending your tax refund on something below you might as well invest in a cemetery plot or a Kickstarter product: two things you'll never enjoy while alive. 
                                                                                                                                          

1) Get Some Rolled Gold (Not Pretzels) - 24K Rolling Papers

$55 for 12 

While other countries use gold as currency, there are Colorado trustafarians using their FAFSA money to get high like Da Da Phuge with these gold jay papers.

Literally Burn Your Money

                                                                                                                                           

2) Send A Box Of Exotic Doo Doo

$15.95-$49.95 *depending on animal*

There are plenty of people who deserve a box of actual gorilla shit. First and foremost is the IRS, and you can send a real steamer right to their front door:

 Department of the Treasury
Internal Revenue Service Center
Austin, TX 73301-0215
USA
*Do not send to our HQ. We have enough dogs around here to start our own service.*

You Have Got To Be Shitting Me

                                                                                                                                         

3) Be About That Thug Knife

$12.01

This is the Gordon Ramsey of cookbooks...

"How the f*ck is Nature’s Valley still putting crumbs in bags and selling them as breakfast bars? Sh!t is disrespectful and a dry sponge would taste better than those crumb catastrophes." - Thug Kitchen

Spend Hard Time...In The Kitchen

                                                                                                                                             

4) Walk Alone Metal Detector Sandals

$59.95

You will never get laid again, but nothing fills the void of love like collecting old wedding rings, keys to a 1999 Geo Tracker, and the occasional gold tooth.

Booty Or Bullion?

                                                                                                                                     

5) Blast Cash From This Cannon

$59.99 + $100 in Singles

 Load, point, shoot, and watch from a distance to see how quickly those hard-earned Washingtons can pay someone's rent.

Shoot From The Hip

                                                                                                                                             

6) Ride The Sumo Tube

$129.99 

Nothing quite like hot, nasty speed to bring in Summer. Ideally, you drive the boat while your friends get dragged behind and swallow half of Lake Powell. 

Has Anyone Seen My Shoulders?

                                                                                                                                        

Or Blow It On Us...

...so we don't end up in a van down by the river attending Monday night soup kitchens with Dirty Mike & The Boyz

Treat Yo'self

                                                                                                                                    

Catch It & Shine On

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