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4 Brands Bring Us The Fashion Apocalypse


When LL Bean and The Brooks Brothers wrote the book of fashion, they foresaw four icons that would catastrophically alter the culture of clothing forever: The Griz Coat, Butt Snorkeler, Pit Viper, and Dong Sarongs.

These Are Their Premonitions Incarnate:

Rider I: Dong Sarong

The pandemic it unleashed...


“We looked, and there before us floated a white swan. Mothers immediately and instinctively shielded their kin's eyes from its rider. For this rider was given the special power to blind by bare skin, a stray-pube-laden bikini line, and the hungriest of hungry-bums the world had ever known." - The Brooks Brothers, 1833

Rider II: Butt Snorkeler

Its plague upon fashion...

“I looked, and there before me stood the Butt Snorkeler. He held a snorkel, and had been given a mission to bring caboose spelunking out of the shadows and into everyday activity. He rode out as a conqueror, hell-bent on spreading a new way of life for the most luscious rumps of the world.” - LL Bean, 1912

Dive Deep

Rider III: Pit Viper

The hell it unleashed on Earth...

“Then a fiery red Siren appeared atop a douche-lord hoverboard. Through heavily-mirrored shades, its rider was given the power to capture wandering eyes instantly." - Elisha, Daniel, Edward and John Brooks, 1833

Undress 'Em With Hidden Eyes

Rider IV: Griz Coat

The primal mayhem it brought...

 “...and there before me was the rider dressed as a white bear. It arrived on a Sharper Image scooter (that kids normally returned in exchange for the superiorly-constructed Razor brand scooter with the wheelie bar). How could one be so animalistic while moving so far away from humanity, yet remain wholly human?" - Leon Leonwood (LL) Bean, 1912

There's Nothing Human About It


So Nice We're Bringing 'Em Back Twice

Ride Out & Shine On

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