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Happy Birthday, 'Merica.

We polled the office. Pooled our collective 4th of July wisdom. Slapped a video or two together, and now they're here in your inbox.

Get Fourthed Up,
-Team Shinesty 
1. Never Throw Your Weapon Away. Nothing's as exhilarating as taking a flaming Black Cat to the face when you've been shooting duds and blanks. We're all for fighting, but I'll concede the flight option isn't bad when you accidentally bring a pop gun to a gunfight. - Ben (Ex-Lobbyist For The Fight Not Flight Coalition).
2. #Nofilter. Balance your Red, White and Blues. Emphasis on the reds. You ain't called a red-blooded American for nothing, fella. But the very least, put some lotion on them ears, playboy. - Tan Jack (Economy size baby oil purchaser)
3. Afternoon Delights are all about location. You never know when cupid will light his love cannon and aim it at your pink bits. Boom, the highly elusive afternoon delight has begun. Just don't follow the lead of this couple playing the skin flute. Keep the party behind doors, or at least in the woods. Oh, and if the houseboat-is-a-rockin', don't come-a-knockin'. - Kristen (Hallmark, Former VP of Intimacy Division)
4. What Separates Us From the Musk Ox? Our Ability To Innovate. Leave the ordinary drinking games to the plain folk wearing Crocs, Bluetooths, and cargos. This is America, and we're all about revolutions. There's no harm or foul in jazzing up old drinking traditions as long as you're slamming ice cold barley pops in the process. - Chris (Creator of The Pet Rock II).
5. Keep it Bootleg. Everything's a little spicier when people don't expect the wildcard. Case in point - this bootleg fireworks mishap. It brings more skin to the game when the unknown factor is lying somewhere on the table. - Anna (Cost Reduction Specialist)

Aaron Munda (Facebook)
Aaron Munda (Facebook)


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