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Bottle Opening Sunglasses vs. Human Ingenuity

These new sunglasses go round for round with mankind's most ingenious ways to open beer.
Scientists estimate there are over 6 ways to open a beer. We did the ol' test-one-drink-one routine before writing this email to pit a whole new class of sunglasses up against humanity's most MacGyverin' means of poppin' top
Advantage - Brewsees: Unless you have Washington's wooden teeth, can snag Lil' John's gold grill at the ATL Wet & Wild party, or have a standing slush fund for root canals, stick to the sunglasses.
Advantage - Brewsees: Say you're not a modern (wo)man rolling exclusively with plastic AND your cheddar isn't half as beaten as ours was...the bill trick's still a royal pain in the ass.
Advantage - KA-BAR: No one could have been more surprised or enamored with the butter-like ease by which this worked. But, the risk of lip circumcision is a sip away.
Advantage - Neither: Macros twist off, so you'll look like a buffoon trying to pry it open. (No puppies were harmed in the making of this email.)
Advantage - Car: Cos it looks sweeter than a plate of yams with extra syrup. But, I almost cut off my opposable thumb last Fourth of July showing off... so yeah, maybe Brewsees should take this one. 
Advantage - Brewsees: No comprettiton. Cuz Chaz just took muh keys so I can't drive. I'm drunk. I'm going home now, light a sweet sinnomin kandle and rub me some hot wax on mahself. 

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